Monday, February 11, 2008

And as the world occasionally stops...

Welcome to my little story...

Once upon a time in a world far far away, let’s just imagine there was once a man named Bob. And one day Bob’s wonderful, beautiful, lovely, and perfect wife Jennifer asked Bob to do something for her. And for whatever reason Bob in his Mars mentality accidentally forgot to jump back to that ‘honey-do’ waffle square to do what his perfect angel had requested of him. (Now then, all you married men out there have been on one side of this next line and I’m sure at one time or another you married ladies have been on the other…..If you are not yet blessed to be as happily married as I am…. Take this as a lesson to prepare yourself for what is to come.) As Jennifer confronts Bob to ask him if he completed whatever it was she had asked for his ‘honey-do’ list, the sweat begins to build on Bob’s forehead as he can honestly not remember anything what so ever about what Jennifer is talking about and then begins to think “Man, what a great shot they guy made on that hunting show… what a moose that was” and of course as he stares into her deep lovely eyes thinking above all else, “I’ve got to be the luckiest guy on Earth to be married to a princess like that, gosh she’s sooooo beautiful” and just as the corny euphoria music begins to play in his head…. he drops a Chuck Norris/Mitchell/Lett roundhouse kick right onto his chin by uttering the words “huh?”, followed shortly by “oh, honey I forgot.”

"... he drops a Chuch Norris - Mitchell - Lett roundhouse kick right onto his chin ..."

No worse words have ever been spoken to a woman… no no no…. To an Angel, that has expected it to be done long ago. At this time the euphoria music drowns to the sound of Bernard Harrmann’s psycho soundtrack followed shortly by his little darling saying “you never do anything I ask… you always complain about doing stuff for me.” As if this story couldn’t get any worse, let’s continue. Let’s just ‘imagine’ that evening as Bob’s brain wonders around in his empty waffle pocket reminiscing about olden days…. thinking back to his good ‘ol buddy days when a practical joke that got one of his friends into a sticky situation was funny, Bob thinks I’ve got it. I’ll show her that I don’t always complain about doing stuff for her. (At this point if any of you married men ever get this feeling, feel free to call Brandon Johnson or myself so we can help you see the error of your ways…. YOU WILL NOT WIN). You see, Bob’s morning routine includes making a daily lunch for his beautiful bride as well as starting her car for her so it’s all warm and snuggly for her on these cold winter days. But on this fateful day on the cold dreary morning of Jan 11th 2008… just to pick a day… no particular meaning to that day of course…. He decides, he will swiftly leave off for work and begin his prank by not making that lunch and not warming up that car….. "ha ha ha ha ha" he thinks as he drives….and thinks… and thinks… THEN thinks "OMG! … what the ‘H-E-double hockey sticks’ was I thinking?! That’s my perfect little angel not my buddy from college that laughed when I got nailed in the groin by the soccer ball in Jr soccer league." As he frantically fumbles for the phone he realizes it’s too late.

Now then, of course this little horror story never occurred and never would occur but if it did, please feel free to use the voting buttons on the side of this page to express your opinion.

And just in case my darling little angel ever decides to read the garbage on her little husband’s blogspot well….. I Love you honey!! :-)


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